Dude, You Are Too Old For MLB!!!

Barry Bonds isn’t the only big-name player that hasn’t gotten a major league contract this season. Here are some others:

Player Pos. Last Team
Barry Bonds OF SF
Roger Clemens RHP NYY
Kenny Lofton OF TEX
Jose Mesa RHP PHI
Mike Piazza C OAK
Sammy Sosa OF TEX
David Wells LHP SD

Why the following aren’t signed:

Barry Bonds: Age 44, clubhouse cancer, can’t play every day anymore.

Roger Clemens: Age 45, Couldn’t stay healthy last year. Other reasons, well I don’t need to go into that.

Kenny Lofton: Age 40, career based on speed and not nearly as fast as he was. Still could be useful in a pennant race (most likely to be signed of this group)

Jose Mesa: Age 41 (Maybe. His kid would have been born when he was 13), 7.11 ERA in 56 games in 2007.

Mike Piazza: Age 39, can’t catch anymore, played in only 83 games. Useful only as a DH. *Maybe* at 1B

Sammy Sosa: Age 39, 112 strikeouts in 114 games last season. Career based on power, doesn’t have it anymore. Also known to cause conflicts in the locker room. Very selfish.

David Wells: Age 44, 5.43 ERA in 2007. Doesn’t know when to shut up: “I pitched my perfect game half drunk”



One thought on “Dude, You Are Too Old For MLB!!!

  1. I remember when a 40 year-old player was considered ancient. Today, forty doesn’t mean finished. All the guys you mentioned, except maybe Bonds, played at least one year too long.

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